Monday, October 23, 2017

Solo Gate Camping in Devoid

More specifically the Mendori gate in Rahadalon.

Why is what I hear many of you say.... well why not.

There was supposed to be a low sec deployment for all in the alliance of Straight Jacket Bears. This was to a friendly citadel just inside Hi sec for easy access to low, Faction Warefare Low (Kamela) and Null (KBP7-G) in Provi.

The stated object was to learn how to pvp in small groups.

Now this character, Pram Face, as previously stated has been largely industry based. He can use all the industrial ships (except the Rorqual) up to Jump Freighters, but has issues flying most frigates and destroyers and only had drones trained as a weapon system.

Over the last few months has been training frigates and destroyers and a couple of weapon systems.

So I turned up at the staging, and found that I could not fly the mimnitar stuff that they wanted to use, so bought myself a buch of executioners and a few punishers and a gnosis, as the alliance mentioned gate camps.

The frigates because they were cheap. even tech 2 fitting them the total bill was about 5 million a time. Including the gnosis and a few odds and ends I spent about 180 million.

Anyway, first night some of the Americans in alliance were on early and I was on late and we had a little roam.

Depressingly I attempted a Slasher fit as suggested by the organiser, and had the dubious honour of dying first. Dead Slasher

I then re shipped to a punisher and we killed a ferox and a Drake..

This was surprising as the ferrox was caught in a belt, ratting, and the Drake warped in to help. Both died without loss.

The next day I had some time, and thought what could I do with no one around. So I broke out the gnosis and started a solo gate camp.

Warning. This is only for the terminally stupid in most areas of low sec, and I fully expected to die. Badly.

In my first hour, I caught and killed a shuttle (which just proves that some pilots are slow and stupid), and had to run away from T3's and other blingy ships that wanted to shoot me on the gate.

So, I went to work and came back that night for another try. The gate I chose was fairly low traffic, and a large portion of the traffic was interceptors, pods and cloaky haulers. the rest seemed to be big nasty looking ships, often in pairs.

However I did manage to catch
Rookie Cyno

Now that to me was enough. 3 different play sessions on the camping for 4 small kills.
There was a bit of hide and seek when the local inhabitants showed up in Brutix's and started shooting me, and a few others had a pop on the way.

So realistically I was bored. The gate was not busy enough with ships that I could catch or kill and with no company it simply was not fun.

If you are going to try this at home...

You do need;-
1. A second account to be eyes on the hisec side, or a small gang will keill you.
2. A good idea of which ships you can kill before the gate guns kill you.
3. Pings around the gate to retreat to.
4. Safe docking in system.
5. Willingness to lose an 80 million ship.

If you have all of these, get out and try.



  1. Penniless Pimp to Prideful Pirate: A Primer

    [Workingman Edition]

    (L33T Edition requires the intestinal fortitude to honestly admit that you are a hopeless and cowardly, cancerous testicle, as well as an alt in a Falcon)

    Orbit hisec gate at 500 (ideally @ 2k5, cloaked) and spam dscan at the widest range that pretty much ensures if they are on scan, they are on their way to damn gate. As soon as something you deem properly tasty appears on dscan, immediately spam jump. After loading grid on the losec side, (and assuming you weren’t just hellishly pimpslapped into a fresh clonevat by a bigger, meaner gate camp), activate your prop mod and burn back to keep gate @ 500 then hit stop. Yes, there is an ideal location on a gate and this sure as shittyetti ain’t it, but we’re here in the virtual real space world Timmy and for the love of Bob we have not the time to back our fat ass up @ 0 in the perfect, neckbeard-approved spot on the gate model.

    Turn off the prop mod, release your drones, and then preheat your prop mod, your weapons, your tackle, and your tank. Now, get right with your God because this is surely going to end a proper fucking ugly. You’re 43, a shell of a man, lashed mercilessly by female and child alike, long since humbled and broken, plus you had a really tough time with Pitfall and the rope back when your reflexes were prime. But that ain’t nothin but a muffin and we got a whole lot of butter to go. So:

    Switch to ship only, no friendlies overview. To not do so is to court the most embarrassing of deaths. Note duly. Once you see the gate flash, because you sure as shit didn’t hear the thing flash, as only useless noobs know Eve has sound, hold down the control button and start spam clicking on the first line of overview. Yes, at the top where a ship would show up. Click there; repeatedly. Become fully one with all the furious clicking by mentally investigating the schrödinger’s cat-like qualities of the moment now passing between you and your quarry. You envision them weak and panicked, evacuating bodily fluids. Most likely they are on autopilot and masturbating to a mixture of cabbage, costumed midgets, and overly ornate drapery on another monitor. Probably best to just wonder what Quafe tastes like. Regardless noob, click.

    Once your tasty treat finally breaks his wussy cloak and shows on overview, don’t you go and wilt like a bitch Anne-Marie, keep on keeping on with the clicking! Release the control key as soon as you see lock begin to resolve - damn right you continue clicking like a trained rat needing tasty tasty cocaine after letting up on the control key, you mouth breathing fool, keep clicking until you see APPROACHING on your screen - but all while you are clicking you are also frantically activating your preheated prop (to get at the range to...), tackle (if/when in range), drones (!), weapons (overheating: the path of the righteous), and tank (where hope goes to die).

    Depending on the percieved likelihood of, and your aversion to, obtrusive undergarment fouling, you very well may want to align out once you are at optimal on your prey and have commenced in skullfucking a pathetic carebear. Or don’t. Hakuna Matata.

    Oh, yeah, by the way, before all of that bullshit goes down you definitely want to research the different types of gates, their sizes, and the ranges at which you/targets will appear from the gate after jumping. Else, time wasted buttercup. (The above, on a hisec to losec gate, is a good way to get dead, honestly. Try a losec pipe system in a less traveled area.)

    TLDR: All of the skill and glory resides in the actual catching of baby seals, the opportunity to club their brains out is the gravy. That is if the gate guns don’t fuck you without using safe-words because you weren’t aligned. You stupid fucking noob. HTFU.

  2. Or that could work as well...
    Not my style though.

    I also had researched that gate and jumpers constantly appeared 10-12 km from the gate.
    HS on one side also gives an escape route if you are not agressed and someone big and nasty lands on the LS side and decides to point and shoot you....
    If there are a few of you then I completely agree a low sec pipe with low sec on both sides is better as you can catch people either way.

    Thank you for writing this.